Arizona

I'm so lonely. I'm 34 years old now and this is not where I imagined my life would be. I have so much family, so many acquaintances but I may as well be alone on this earth. No one knows and those that do have no understanding, its like being a leper . My kids accept me no matter what but you cant unload your burdens and thoughts on children. I think about death constantly but the guilt of the ones that would suffer hold me here. I've lost everything. I have legal problems I have to deal with that and it prevents me from running home to my sister the good twin. I thought I had found the love of my life and that he would stand by me and in the end he threw me out and kept everything I owned. Essentially I'm homeless now. I have nothing but the clothes I was allowed to take and a vehicle I can't really afford. I'm without a job and things aren't looking good. My ex-husband has allowed me to stay but not for long. I have to make something happen soon. I've borrowed money from my father, something I haven't done since I was still a teenager and my this guy I thought loved me isn't responding to my please to return my furniture and my belongings. what do I do? where do I go? Arizona isn't very friendly. I miss home. I need help. I've never admitted that.